Money in the Bank

Here’s what I’m going to do. For each match, I’ll make a prediction at the top, then talk about how the characters work with each other. Unless there’s some amazing stuff going on in the match, I won’t talk about it. I’m here about the characters themselves and why the storytelling works or it doesn’t.

Daniel Bryan vs Big Cass
Prediction: Daniel Bryan
Daniel Bryan is probably the #1 fan favorite wrestler of the past 5 years. He recently made his return from what was assumed to be a career-ending injury. He plays a very good plucky underdog. Big Cass is, well, big. He believes that people should care about him, but that they care about Bryan instead. He used to be part of a strong team, but his partner is gone.
This is a classic David vs Goliath matchup. Technical skill vs brute power. The smart money is usually on the little guy, especially because Big Cass has won previously. It wasn’t a great match, but it’s always good to see Bryan wrestle. The winner was Bryan, outlasting the larger opponent with a strong move to win it. Big vs small stories are hit or miss, but this one was pretty good.

Sami Zayn vs Bobby Lashley
Prediction: Bobby Lashley
Sami Zayn started as the ultimate underdog, but now he’s being a bit of a dick. Bobby Lashley is ripped, an American badass, and a fan favorite from years ago. I’m not a huge fan of this storyline.
Not only is Lashley the “good guy” in this scenario, he’s also very athletic, and Zayn has been kinda messing with him. If this is a culmination of a storyline, then Lashley should win.
The start of the match was a lot of Zayn avoiding fighting. It’s a standard trick, but it’s kinda boring. Zayn used to be a fan favorite, but he’s getting worse. This match was meh. After the fight finally got started, Lashley just tossed him around the ring. Lashley won, and it was dumb and boring.

Elias vs Seth Rollins (C) for the Intercontinental Championship
Prediction: Seth Rollins
Elias is a massive dick that plays the guitar. People love him, and love to boo him. That’s wrestling for you. He always has a big intro before his matches. Seth Rollins is a massive fan favorite whose entire character is that he’s really good at being a wrestler. He’s defended the title against 6 different guys.
The way the story is going, Rollins will probably keep the title until at least Summer Slam. I was expecting a good match, full of creative moves. Rollins took a beating, but he kept on fighting, which is how the match usually goes. These guys beat the tar out of each other. Either man could have won, but in the end, Rollins caught a lucky break. It was a good match. Not a good match to introduce people to wrestling, but those are few and far between.

Three for three so far, and we’re barely an hour into the show.

Sasha Banks, Natalya, Becky Lynch, Alexa Bliss, Naomi, Lana, Ember Moon, Charlotte for the Money in the Bank contract
Prediction: Ember Moon
The point of the Money in the Bank match is to set up a ladder, climb up, and take down a briefcase above the ring. The briefcase allows you one chance to fight the champion at some point in the next year. These matches are usually pretty good, but they are also clusterfucks. Eight different wrestlers, all fighting each other, jumping off of high things. The story of these matches is usually “we all want to win.” It really requires you to “buy in” to the concept that is wrestling storylines.
Ember Moon is crazy popular, a rising star, and really good at wrestling. Sasha is cocky, Natalya is a bitch, Becky is an underdog, Alexa is a MASSIVE bitch, Naomi is plucky, Lana is awful, and Charlotte is a powerhouse. But Ember Moon is still my pick.
It was, indeed, a clusterfuck. In the end, Alexa Bliss won. She did very good work at the champion before as a massive bitch that people loved to hate. I expect that she will do good work again.

Roman Reigns vs Jinder Mahal
Prediction: Roman Reigns
Jinder Mahal and Roman Reigns are both generally both disliked, and their storyline was bad. I’m not expecting a long match. I’m not expecting a good match. Reigns is generally viewed as a favorite of management, which means he wins a lot.
The crowd clearly didn’t like the match, chanting “CM Punk” and “Boring” early on. I don’t blame them. Reigns beat up Mahal’s twiggy assistant who was already injured, then won the match. It was bland, and felt like it took too long.

Carmella (C) vs Asuka for the Smackdown Women’s Title
Prediction: Asuka
Carmella won the Money in the Bank contract last year, told a fantastic story of holding that contract for a long time, cashed it in, and was really cocky. People loved to hate her. Asuka has the longest undefeated streak, man or woman, in a WWE-owned product. She came from New Japan Pro Wrestling. She’s a crazy fan favorite.
The story leading up to this has been Asuka just wrecking Carmella. I expect that will continue.
OK, this match hit a weird point. Someone dressed in Asuka’s signature mask came to the ring. This threw out any prediction I could have made. Asuka deserves better than this.
FUCKING JAMES ELLESWORTH! He started as a joke character for other wrestlers, then started teaming up with Carmella. He has been gone for a while, but as soon as he was revealed as the fake Asuka, I knew Carmella was winning, and win she did.

AJ Styles (C) vs Shinsuke Nakamura (Last Man Standing match) for the WWE Heavyweight Title
Prediction: Shinsuke Nakamura
Both of these guys are amazing wrestlers. AJ is probably the best wrestler in the company, and Nakamura acts strange and hits really, really hard. Nakamura punched AJ in the balls and has generally been a massive dick. Their storyline leading up to this has been the two of them beating the piss out of each other for months. Now, their match is Last Man Standing. Instead of winning with a pin, you win when you beat up the other guy so badly, he can’t stand up for a 10-count, like in boxing. They can do anything they want. Hit each other with chairs, smash each other though tables, etc.
Nakamura has been putting in great work, and he deserves a run with the title. He might not win it here, but he should. No matter who wins here, the match should be great. Just two dudes who don’t like each other beating each other up. Simple story, with lots of ways to tell it.
As expected, they beat each other up all over the ring. Tables, chairs, utilizing the steps, the whole nine yards. The ending came when Nakamura was put through the announcer’s table after being kicked in the balls. AJ won. I expect there to be another match between them at Summer Slam.

Nia Jax (C) vs Ronda Rousey for the Raw Women’s Title
Prediction: Rhonda Rousey
Nia Jax is large and has been doing well as a champion. However, recently, she has started to act like a bully; before she became champion, she was the one being bullied for her size. Ronda Rousey is a former UFC champion, and she is a force to be reckoned with. Nia doesn’t consider the smaller, faster Rousey a threat, and Rousey is fired up. She employs submission moves to win, which are hard to pull off on larger opponents.
Ronda is new to the WWE, so winning the title would be an amazing achievement. However, management really like to push celebrities.
Nia Jax just kinda threw Ronda around for a while. This is typical of big wrestlers, much like Big Cass at the start of the show. Ronda jumped from the top rope, something she’s not known for, but it didn’t work.
Wow! In a repeat from last year, the winner of the Money in the Bank contract appeared! Alexa Bliss was champion before Nia Jax, so this is some good long-term storytelling. Also, I didn’t see this coming. This match ended in a disqualification, so it doesn’t matter. Alex Bliss ended up champion.

Samoa Joe, Brawn Strowman, Rusev, Kevin Owens, The Miz, One member of the New Day, Finn Balor, Bobby Roode for the Money in the Bank contract
Prediction: Samoa Joe
This is the men’s version of the match. A few important differences: The New Day is a team of three wrestlers, and one of them is in the match, but before the match started, they hadn’t said which one. It turns out it was Kofi Kingston, the fast one of the group. Also, Brawn Strowman has been written as an unstoppable machine, and it works because he’s massive.
The others in the match: Samoa Joe isn’t as big as Strowman, but he’s quick. Rusev is super popular because every day is Rusev Day. Kevin Owens is a very popular asshole. The Miz is an even more popular asshole. Finn Balor is super athletic.
Samoa Joe would be great as a contract holder, just showing up to matches and being threatening.
There was a lot of teaming up on Strowman. They piled ladders on him, then when he got out, they kicked him a lot, but he got over it. Then he slammed a dude from the top of the biggest ladder through a table. It looked really painful.
Strowman is running through literally everyone. Joe is the only one that can really stand up to him.
If you know what the Accolade is, Rusev almost put three guys in the Accolade at once. It’s nuts.
Holy crap, Balor jumped off a ladder and landed with both feet on a guy.
Well, if Samoa Joe wasn’t going to win, it was because Strowman won instead. The big guy wrecked everyone.

Overall, this wasn’t a bad event. Not every match was amazing, including the Asuka match. But Alexa cashing in was surprising, and I can’t wait for Brock Lesnar vs Brawn Strowman.